Pizza could end all wars

Has anyone ever given thought to the theory of P.Q.? Short for Pizza Quotient. It's a revolutionary idea that could solve all conflicts around the world. Let me clue you in.

Everyone that eats pizza with any regularity will attest to the delicious cheese, toppings and crust, the enjoyable experience of chomping into a fresh, hot pizza. It can be a social or solitary activity, but it always brings a sense of well-being before, during, and after the process. The calcium in the cheese (extra cheese ftw!) also calms down jumpy muscles, easing the body into a state of advanced relaxation. The result? A good night's sleep afterwards. And if you have leftovers, the savory practice of heating it up for another go the next day awaits. Thus, if the P.Q. in your blood is high enough, you're a happier, more well-rested person. And what content, smiling person wishes to do harm to his/her fellow human beings?

The main problem, as I see it, with warring countries, is that they probably don't have enough pizzerias in their neighborhoods. Those poor folks have nowhere to go to keep the P.Q. in their blood high enough to achieve this soporific state of euphoria. Sadly, this leads to irritability, jealousy of the pizza-thriving countries, and then outright warfare. Due of course, to a lack of proper pizza facilities. Invasions result from the ham-fisted attempts to rectify this crucial resource.

But what if all the nations cooperated to share this necessary food of the gods? No more hunger, no more jealousy, no more invasions, no more hatred or tension. Everyone would have enough pizza, and we could all mellow out. If that 78% P.Q. was met, crime would go down, wars would stop, and even bad weather would take a vacation. Unemployment would lessen, the economy would improve, and worker productivity would skyrocket as happy employees put in more effort. Heck, we might even be nice to each other on the road (okay, that might be pushing things). I'm betting political strife would disappear. And all because of a humble piece of pizza. It boggles the mind to think of the ramifications of how much better this world would be, if an adequate P.Q. were enjoyed by all.

In short, food for thought.  ;P