Has anyone ever given thought to the theory of P.Q.? Short for Pizza Quotient. It's a revolutionary idea that could solve all conflicts around the world. Let me clue you in.
Everyone that eats pizza with any regularity will attest to the delicious cheese, toppings and crust, the enjoyable experience of chomping into a fresh, hot pizza. It can be a social or solitary activity, but it always brings a sense of well-being before, during, and after the process. The calcium in the cheese (extra cheese ftw!) also calms down jumpy muscles, easing the body into a state of advanced relaxation. The result? A good night's sleep afterwards. And if you have leftovers, the savory practice of heating it up for another go the next day awaits. Thus, if the P.Q. in your blood is high enough, you're a happier, more well-rested person. And what content, smiling person wishes to do harm to his/her fellow human beings?
The main problem, as I see it, with warring countries, is that they probably don't have enough pizzerias in their neighborhoods. Those poor folks have nowhere to go to keep the P.Q. in their blood high enough to achieve this soporific state of euphoria. Sadly, this leads to irritability, jealousy of the pizza-thriving countries, and then outright warfare. Due of course, to a lack of proper pizza facilities. Invasions result from the ham-fisted attempts to rectify this crucial resource.
But what if all the nations cooperated to share this necessary food of the gods? No more hunger, no more jealousy, no more invasions, no more hatred or tension. Everyone would have enough pizza, and we could all mellow out. If that 78% P.Q. was met, crime would go down, wars would stop, and even bad weather would take a vacation. Unemployment would lessen, the economy would improve, and worker productivity would skyrocket as happy employees put in more effort. Heck, we might even be nice to each other on the road (okay, that might be pushing things). I'm betting political strife would disappear. And all because of a humble piece of pizza. It boggles the mind to think of the ramifications of how much better this world would be, if an adequate P.Q. were enjoyed by all.
In short, food for thought. ;P
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Cell Phones
I'm cell phone-less. Yes, I am cell phone-impaired. Mobile communication challenged. Whatever you choose to call it.
Despite the urgings of family and friends, I'm still holding fast to eschewing a cell phone; at least that last bastion of personal privacy remains in my life. Everyone I know has a cell phone and they don't understand my holdout. They know I love technology and adopt new devices and mediums. So why haven't I joined the 92% of cell phone users? A friend gave the best example of why I don't have one. She said, "But Jeanette, if you have a cell phone, everyone can find you everywhere you go!"
I immediately said, "And that's why I don't have a cell phone." Because everyone could find me constantly. I like being able to shop without interruption, watch a movie without something vibrating at me. And everywhere I go, I see and hear people using their cellphones in rude, inconsiderate ways. I have no wish to join that crowd. An entire generation is growing up being rude, dangerous boors.
Telephones used to be about phone booths for auditory privacy; excusing yourself to answer a phone call, talking discreetly in the next room briefly, then joining your face-to-face companion again. Nowadays a girlfriend of mine sees no problem with initiating a cell call AS we are eating at a restaurant, completing ignoring her lunch companion across the table, in favor of talking to someone else. She doesn't seem to realize the insanely rude, insulting thing she's doing to me. Not to mention when I can hear every word of someone else's cell call in the next booth. I'm an unwilling captive of a private conversation I have no wish to hear.
And don't even get me started on the frankly dangerous, homocidal propensities of the person who talks on a cell phone while driving. I'm looking at YOU, sis. And millions of other braindead idiots who endanger my safety on the road. When you drive, DRIVING is your job; it's all you're to do. Keep your eyes on the road and be careful around others. This is so common sense, it's sad that it needs to be mentioned. A LOT. Despite the overwhelming evidence that driving and talking on a cell phone has been proven, indisputably, to be as dangerous as driving while drunk. There are states that have made any form of using a cell phone while driving illegal; I would like all states to adopt this. Safety is more important than finding out if she really said that or if he's going to that event this weekend.
I only wish more people still cared about basic consideration for others and safety. If cell phones were used discreetly, sensibly and intelligently, I'd have one by now.
Despite the urgings of family and friends, I'm still holding fast to eschewing a cell phone; at least that last bastion of personal privacy remains in my life. Everyone I know has a cell phone and they don't understand my holdout. They know I love technology and adopt new devices and mediums. So why haven't I joined the 92% of cell phone users? A friend gave the best example of why I don't have one. She said, "But Jeanette, if you have a cell phone, everyone can find you everywhere you go!"
I immediately said, "And that's why I don't have a cell phone." Because everyone could find me constantly. I like being able to shop without interruption, watch a movie without something vibrating at me. And everywhere I go, I see and hear people using their cellphones in rude, inconsiderate ways. I have no wish to join that crowd. An entire generation is growing up being rude, dangerous boors.
Telephones used to be about phone booths for auditory privacy; excusing yourself to answer a phone call, talking discreetly in the next room briefly, then joining your face-to-face companion again. Nowadays a girlfriend of mine sees no problem with initiating a cell call AS we are eating at a restaurant, completing ignoring her lunch companion across the table, in favor of talking to someone else. She doesn't seem to realize the insanely rude, insulting thing she's doing to me. Not to mention when I can hear every word of someone else's cell call in the next booth. I'm an unwilling captive of a private conversation I have no wish to hear.
And don't even get me started on the frankly dangerous, homocidal propensities of the person who talks on a cell phone while driving. I'm looking at YOU, sis. And millions of other braindead idiots who endanger my safety on the road. When you drive, DRIVING is your job; it's all you're to do. Keep your eyes on the road and be careful around others. This is so common sense, it's sad that it needs to be mentioned. A LOT. Despite the overwhelming evidence that driving and talking on a cell phone has been proven, indisputably, to be as dangerous as driving while drunk. There are states that have made any form of using a cell phone while driving illegal; I would like all states to adopt this. Safety is more important than finding out if she really said that or if he's going to that event this weekend.
I only wish more people still cared about basic consideration for others and safety. If cell phones were used discreetly, sensibly and intelligently, I'd have one by now.
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